"All the forces of the world are not powerful enough to stop an idea whose time has come." Victor Hugo

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Writing by the Dying Light of the Afternoon

The stillness of the afternoon
Is broken only by the music
Emanating from next door
Music that seems as much a part of nature
As the birdsong in the trees
A dog barks across the way
Our windchimes speak to each other
A car beeps
And all seems profoundly quiet
Barbeques and campfires
Travel past my nose
A morning dove coos
I am here
The soundscape that surrounds me
Makes up my life this afternoon
Alone, in the silence,
I sit with peace of mind
The dying light
As the sun begins to set
Casts long shadows on the table
In front of me
Still the gentle wind blows
Carrying me through my life
Wherever I may go
Never roots too deep
That prevent me from moving on
For moving on is what I do
Day after day after lifetime
Traveling wherever I feel led
Wherever I feel needed
Not even this canvas hammock
Hanging between two beams of the house
Could keep me here
For I am destined to wander
Destined to leave
The road not traveled by me
Will take me far away
For I know not where I’m going
Tossed by the waves of the sea
My little lifeboat reels in fear
At the ever-crashing crests
Yet life is just a journey
Led wherever I will go
The birdsong fades down quieter
A single chirrup sung
This notebook, the pen
Me and You
All here together and waiting

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Moving On

The rain falls
Car beeps
Nighttime again
The only sound is the ticking of the clocks
Counting down less than a million seconds
Until the parting of ways
And eternity
Whenever the wind blows
I think of Starry Night
And artists in the rain
How the streetlamps reflect in the water
Covering the roads
Like a million tiny stars fallen to earth
And a symphony
Written for two sets of windchimes
And a barking dog
Set to the metronome of ticking clocks
The night is silent and alone, like many people
Yet wrapped in a cocoon of stillness
I hardly feel the pounding future
Words like rivers march before me
Poems and prayers that are my guides
Into this vast unknown
What goes before me to test the waters
Those who have come before
To see the world from a new set of eyes
And ears to hear
The seconds slipping away
And silence arriving to take their place
I stand on the edge, looking behind
At the misty light of morning
Still hearing the wind rush by
And I wait
In one hand, the cue ball
Awaiting the perfect shot

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Portrait of My Father

I see him from the kitchen window
As I pour myself a cup of coffee
He walks back and forth across the yard
Picking something up here,
Laying down an old foam mat there
The jump rope’s rhythm as it hits the ground--
Whack whack whack--
Each rotation measured out precisely
The sound echoes through our open doors and windows
After an afternoon spent playing Tetris
He forgoes his non-alcoholic beverage
To begin a new exercise routine
But as I watch him twirling a rope,
Caught in a window of concentration,
I know just as well as he does
That this will not last
Transported back to his youth
By the 80’s music on the speakers
My father takes advantage of the warm night
To try and get a handle on his past
I know he often thinks of years ago
When different decisions could have changed
Today
Of the time he spent in high school
As a bully
Of the things he’s been given by God
I also know he dreams of the future
All of the untapped potential in tomorrow
Of the possibilities residing within an idea
But there are times, like tonight,
Where I see him in the present
In stasis between then and not yet
He is suspended in the now
Trying to connect what’s behind
With what’s ahead
The two ends of the rope he holds,
Where he’s been and where he’s going,
Travel on to the center of the arc
And touch in the middle
Where the sound of their meeting
Marks the moment in which we stand
Irrevocably thrust together
In the briefest space of eternity

Sunday, November 30, 2014

‘Twas the Night Before Nano (A Tribute to Another Failed Novel)



‘Twas the night before NaNo
And all through the town
All the writers were waiting
To start the word count

The outlines were done
And the Pansters prepared;
All the keyboards were set
And the pen-tips all bared

The authors were hoping
For the Muse to arrive
While visions of Best Sellers
Were not hard to derive

And I with my coffee
(With more in reserve)
Settled down at my notebook
And heard my cat purr

When on the minute before
November the First
I felt the excitement inside
‘Til my heart was fit to burst

Then the clock struck the hour
And just as planned
The race was on;
NaNoWriMo began

Through the ups of Week One
I cruised through my plot
As characters took shape,
A story was begot

All was going great
And heading down the right track
When came an unforeseen
And unfortunate setback

Its name was Week Two
And down in the mire
My mind was thrust
Without an idea to inspire

I battled the infamous
Writer’s Block
But of my injuries
I had yet to take stock

10K behind!
What a tragedy to behold
So by the end of Week Two
I was not feeling so bold

Week Three hit me
Like a blow to the heart
For the time I had lost
And the words left to start

(The musical came at a most
Inopportune time
For writing a novel was hard
With not much downtime)

In a flash Week Four arrived
Like a thief in the night
And with a glimmer of hope
I saw the end was in sight

But alas! My failure
Was imminent, I fear
For I was so far behind
And December so near

In despair I clutched
At my novel’s beginning
And knew there was no hope
Of this year’s winning

So with a grand heavy sigh
I put my book on a shelf
And tried to find a way
To be pleased with myself

Another year done
And November gone by
Without a finished manuscript
Just another failed try

But I told myself
Not to shed a tear
For this NaNo was crazy
Besides, there’s always next year...

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Noise

The dog's barking grates on my nerves
I hear her echoing through the house
And wonder how no one else has woken up
In the midst of all the noise
I realize how much silence is lost in a day
We spend so long and expend so much effort
Trying to find the right things to say
We waste time
Filling awkward pauses with intellectual silence
And not appreciating the resounding quiet
The moment after the last note rings out
And no one is sure whether the song is over
Is beautiful
Or accidentally walking into
A stunning sunrise
Is breathtaking
Yet we try to find time to ignore the wordless
Always needing something to distract our minds
Large amounts of white noise that fill a space
But what is it all worth?
I try to find the time for silence
But this world just won't stop talking
And it's blinding out my search for solitude
With the deafening roar of indifference
I can't hear You above the noise
That calls out to me every waking moment
Although sometimes, when I least expect it,
I find a moment of peace
Listen, the dog has stopped barking

Monday, October 20, 2014

Portrait of My Mother

She sits, working on her laptop
Her hair pulled back on her head,
And she looks like a Greek goddess
Even though I can see the lines around her mouth
And smile lines on her eyes,
She doesn’t look anywhere near her age
As she tries to decide what to do on the upcoming family vacation
She listens to country music
Because it’s happy and upbeat
She gets frustrated with little technological things
But she tries to learn and understand
In the past two years, she’s turned into quite the scholar
The stay-at-home-mom I used to know
Has disappeared forever, I fear
School and work have taken the place
Of all the time she used to spend cleaning
And organizing play dates
We used to go to the library at least once a week
And the park
But now we fend for ourselves in terms of free time
And I can tell the difference in my brothers
Because they don’t appreciate the small things like I do
My mother taught me to see beauty
In everything
And I do
Because although things have changed
And will continue to do so
I will never forget what I was told as a kid
That making the most of what you have
Is better than having it all

Happy birthday, Mom. I love you.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Stopping the Rain

Standing outside and listening to the sound of the rain, I acutely noticed how cruel it was to place potted plants beneath the ramada just far enough that they were unable to take part in the life-giving shower.  Against the gray backdrop of the sky, the bird of paradise blossoms stood out vividly.

The drizzle picked up, and the gutter flowed more rapidly.  I found it amusing how the left side of the wall was dry because the rain had blown in at an angle.  For as much as it was coming, even the water was unable to touch what science said it could not.

I found myself wishing I could go back in time, or at least to another place where time seemed to stand still and life paused.  The silence I felt was complete, even amongst the noise of the world around me awakening to the sky's calling.

I leaned my body against the wooden post supporting the awning.  The coolness felt good next to the humidity of the air.  A breath of wind, and the smell of new earth met my nose.  The dog, too, was deep in investigation of something she had found.  For her, rain was a new adventure, something more to discover.

The impossibility of existence hit me in a wave.  First came the feeling of awe as I gazed at the hazy mountains in the distance.  Even they were helpless against the mist.  Then, the realization that my life is only a minor character in other's stories.  They do not care about the intricate workings of me because they are not me, and they are not God.  With that idea sparked another, that I am impossibly insignificant.  I will walk this earth once but no matter what I do, the world will continue on without stopping.  It will absorb my absence when the time comes, and at that time I will not be missed.  I am not an essential part of the planet because man is so helplessly small and man is not God.  Who I am and what I do is nothing when lined up next to eternity.

The rain continued to pound against my consciousness, beating into me that I could do nothing to prevent it from doing so.  I breathed a sigh of relief as the notion came to me.

Trying to control life is just as pointless as trying to stop the rain.