School

The longer I live in this life
The stranger I see things
In fact, it reminds me a lot
Of fish
We are nothing but fish here,
Confined in this tank
Following a leader,
Stuck in the current
We get swept along by
The actions of the rest
No one wanting to be the first
To break free
Everyone waiting for the leader
But the leader acts on what
The rest of the pack does
So you see, they're caught
In an endless cycle
Just like us,
Who so resemble fish in nature
After all, why do you think
We call them a school?

Thoughts on Fish

This is a quote taken from Love, Aubrey, a book I recently read:

"But really, anybody could die any day, whether you were ready or not.  It could be your pet fish, or your sister, or you.  Nothing is the same forever.  Maybe all the people on Earth are God's little pet fish.  God lives such a long time that people's lives probably seem really short to him.  He watches them swim around for a little while, and then they stop swimming."

It's an interesting metaphor, really, to think that we are only fish swimming around in a bowl.  I have also thought this, and I wrote a poem about it once.  The quote made me think a little bit about life and death in general.  It makes me realize that we will die, and could at any moment.  Knowing this, what are we going to do with our lives?  No one is too old or too young to make a difference.  Many people feel that they don't have anything they want to change, or the right means to do it with.  Surely that can't be true?  We've all been given gifts: some people are musically inclined, some people have the gift for helping others, some people are the super extroverted types who are natural people-magnets (I am especially impressed by these folks since I am not one of them).  All of these things can be used.  As for change, is there anyone in the world who is completely happy with the way things are?  I highly doubt this to be true.  These are just excuses to not do anything.  I don't want to sound condescending; I just feel that everyone has a purpose and if we don't use our gifts towards that purpose, then why did God even put us on Earth in the first place?

So, seeing as I could die at any moment, I want to live every day as if it were my last.  I don't like holding grudges for this reason, I don't want anyone to be mad at me, I don't want to go to sleep knowing that I hurt someone.  I want to make an effort to leave an impact on someone's life.  It doesn't have to be something big.  I just want to know that I changed someone's life for the better, and even if it's only one person, then I will be happy.  I wish everyone had the same goal.  Even if it may not seem like they changed the world, it makes a world of difference to that one person they impacted.

Key and Lock

She was a beautiful key: long and slender, the old-fashioned kind that was meant to fit in a keyhole, with three teeth at the end of her brazen shaft.  She was only three inches long.  Her head was a mass of delicate swirls and patterns that seemed too elaborate for practical use.  She hung from a chain next to a window, and swung in the breeze when it was open.  There was a blanket of cobwebs encasing her where she hung, for no one had reached  up for her in years.


It had been so long since she had actually been used she wondered whether she went to anything at all.  Everyone else may have forgotten what she unlocked, including herself, but she knew for certain that she belonged to something.  She knew that for every key, there is a lock, and every lock has something behind it.  That is why even as the days went by, the seasons turned, and years changed all into just memories, the key still swung from her chain by the window, waiting for the one day when someone would finally remember her and find where she belonged.

Babysitting Tip #1: Keep Eyes on Children ALWAYS

So... I had quite an eventful night babysitting this evening.  Normally, the kids at this particular house are pretty good and pleasant to be around.  Tonight was no different, but with a twist.

As I reached the door of the house and the mom had greeted me, she informed me that her niece had been there all day and that I would have to watch her for a few minutes until she was picked up.  That was fine.  What was one more kid, anyway?  Instead of watching three kids, I was now watching four.  Again, this didn't bother me until the next thing the mom said: "She's very stubborn.  You may have to be firm with her, because she doesn't listen very well."  Oh great, I thought to myself, now I have a difficult child to work with.  Oh well, it couldn't be helped.

When the parents left, everyone was happily seated on the couch watching Barbie: A Mermaid Tale 2.  (I found it quite disturbing how brightly colored everything was.)  After about ten minutes, however, the two youngest children grew tired of the movie, and I can't blame them, so they went to play in one of the bedrooms.  I could still hear them, so I assumed everything was fine, until five minutes later when I went to check on them.  What did I find?  In the time they had been left alone, they had succeeded in flooding the entire bathroom and the water was quickly working its way into the hall.  I felt like I was the mermaid then.  I could have slapped myself.  This was not what I needed 15 minutes before bedtime.  So this was what the mom meant by "stubborn".

I set straight to work cleaning: the two kids were totally soaked, so I had to get dry pajamas for the boy and wrap a towel around the girl (since she was the niece and didn't have a change of clothes); I tried to mop the water off the floor with towels until I could really mop; and of course, I drained the whole sink and wiped down the cupboards, which were literally sopping wet.  Of course, right as I was in the middle of all this, the niece's mother walked in and took her home in a towel.  That must have made a good first impression.

After the initial damage was dealt with, I got the youngest in bed and tried to have the middle child also get in bed.  Of course, small children always want a snack at the least convenient times, so I ended up feeding everybody before they would go to bed.  So, after the youngest was in bed a second time, I set to work on the middle child.  She simply refused to sleep unless I read her a story, so I obliged in this while her sister took the mop and helped clean up the water that still remained.  All I can say, is thank goodness for firstborn children.

Finally, after both of the girls were in bed and I was alone, I had to finish cleaning up.  Thankfully, the mop did most of the dirty work, but I still had to make sure everything was dry.  After everything was done, I finally wrung out all the towels and hung them up to dry, along with the clothing of the culprits, and I sat down on the couch to read until the parents came home.

It's funny because when I left the house before I arrived, I was just hoping the kids would go to bed without complaining tonight.  Well, that's exactly what happened, except I had to flood the bathroom to get it.  The moral of the story?  I'm not sure.  Maybe the moral is that you should never let two 3-year-olds out of your sight.  Or you should never watch Barbie movies unless under torture.  Or even that you should wear waterproof clothing every time you babysit.  Regardless of the lesson learned,  I know that when I go over next time, I will not be the one who turns mermaid trying to clean up messes gone haywire.

Red Light

Come on, come on!  Why won't they hurry up?  Autumn wants me to just walk, but I can't!  I am the Caboose after all, so I can't very well leave Tatiana and Melissa behind.  Autumn is pulling me away from them.  Not fair!  What'll happen to me if Mrs. Troph finds out that I didn't work as the Caboose?  What on earth are they fighting over, anyway?...  What!?  They're fighting over who gets to walk in front of me?  I don't want either of them to, because Autumn already is.

Oh, no!  The line's getting farther away!  All I can see is Johanna's hot pink earmuffs disappearing into the building.  I better move now.  Uh, oh, Mrs. Gross is coming back out.  "When we get inside, I have four ladies on red!"  She yells, holding up four fingers.  What?  That's not fair!  It's Tatiana and Melissa who are holding us up!

"Come on, Autumn, let's go!" I say to her.

"Finally!"

We walk into the building.  I have a bad feeling in my stomach.  It's not my fault that we're getting put on red!  I was just doing my job.  I heard that Principal Plumb spanks the kindergarteners who get put on red.  Oh, why does this happen to me?  Now I'll have to go to the principal and get spanked, and I'll get a phone call home, and I won't be able to go out to recess again. *groan* I can't believe it.  I hate kindergarten...

Missed Opportunity

Tonight I was one of the first people to arrive at a youth group in the park.  I took a piece of pizza and began to eat it while I waited for everyone else to arrive.  Then, a lady got out of her car with a cat on the harness and started walking it around the park.  I thought to myself, "How cute.  I've never seen a cat do that before."

A few minutes later, the cat started pulling her towards me and she told me I could pet him.  I reached down my hand and stroked his long, slightly matted fur and he rolled over on his belly in delight.  After a while, the cat, whose name I found out was Tabby, jumped on the table and tried to push our pizza boxes over.  He wanted to eat them.  The lady remarked how cute she found it, and I told her how one of our cats used to eat our bagels off the counter.  She laughed and eventually they moved on to a different part of the park.

As everyone else arrived, I thought nothing of the incident, until one of my friends asked me why my friend wasn't participating.  I asked, "Which friend?"   She motioned to the cat lady who was standing by her old green car and I told her that I hadn't ever met the girl before: we had just talked briefly earlier.  She shrugged and we continued with our games.

Throughout the night, the girl kept taking Tabby and walking around the park with his harness and some of my friends kept making snide comments about her.  I'm afraid to say I joined in on a few of them.  It grew dark, and I began to grow a little worried about the lady because it seemed like she wasn't going to leave.  It almost seemed like she was spying on us.  I also thought she might be up to some mischief and felt she had no business hanging around in a park after dark anyway.

As I was getting into the car when everything was over, I looked over next to me and saw the green car that was piled high with things in the backseat, the girl and her father sleeping in the front seats, and the cat on top of the luggage.

I should have offered her a piece of pizza.  I should have asked for her name.  I should have at least asked if she wanted something to drink.  Why didn't I?  At first, she seemed like a normal person, but then she talked to me and I could tell she was different.  Then, I poked fun at her behind her back in front of my friends and jumped to conclusions about something I had no right to.  And then to find out she was only a homeless girl with her father and cat who lived out of an old green car...  This just goes to show that we should look at our surroundings and gather what information we can before judging people.  Now there's nothing I can do for her, even though I had an opportunity to help.  It may have made the difference of dinner for her and Tabby if only I had thought to offer her some food.

Avocado

I couldn't believe I was standing there.  That was the day I had been dreading ever since I learned of its coming. The house guests were coming.  And what was worse, they had a girl my age.  I knew what that meant: I would have to be "friendly" with them all, especially her, until they finally left and I would be free.

The dreaded moment came.  I heard the knock on the door, and I took my position.  I waited in my room until my mother called me.  I wanted one last moment of solitude to myself before I lost a spring.  I waited for my cue ("Oh, she'll be out in a minute, don't worry!") and stepped out into the kitchen, where I greeted our guests with a smile.  I wasn't exactly charming, but what was to be expected from me?   I was never really comfortable around people in the first place, but it didn't help that I hadn't showered after swimming earlier, and that I was wearing my bathing suit cover-up.  There were lemon bars on the table, special ones because one of our guest's daughters was allergic to milk and eggs.  The night passed by fairly tortuously, with games, stories, and many futile attempts to make friends with the teenage girl on my end.

It was later in the night, and the girl and I were in my room trying to make a decent conversation.  Neither of us were very good at it.  We had nothing in common; she liked completely different music from me, she loved make-up and popular clothes (whereas I preferred not to bother and just wear a skirt instead), and she was allergic to cats.  We did both like reading, but not the same kinds at all.  On top of all that, she talked so quietly that I could barely hear her on a regular basis.

I tried again to make a conversation.  I asked her what it was like to be allergic to milk and eggs, only to find out that it was her sister, not her, with the allergy.  Great.  I had just made the biggest idiot out of myself as I possibly could have.  I couldn't tell, but I'm sure my face turned tomato-red, redder than a strawberry  (which, I might add, is very noticeable due to my fair complexion).

I was only starting to think of something to say to make my blunder less obvious when I was distracted by a thump on my mainly-open door.  We both turned.  Something was lying on my floor next to my penny jar.  I picked it up.  It was an avocado.  The girl asked me if that was what I had been thinking.  I replied back that, yes indeed, this was an avocado.  I looked to see where it might have come from.  There was a green splotch on my doorjamb.  One of my brothers had thrown it at us.  We both looked at each other, me with avocado in hand, and burst out laughing.  It was so funny, so weird, so random.  That was exactly the right moment for it to have appeared, too.  I looked at the avocado with new-found meaning.  This little fruit was my savior, the reason I was able to get through the rest of the night.

This just goes to show that we need to expect everything, prepare for the unexpected, and not take for granted those little avocados in life that pass us by each day.