Standing outside and listening to the sound of the rain, I acutely noticed how cruel it was to place potted plants beneath the ramada just far enough that they were unable to take part in the life-giving shower. Against the gray backdrop of the sky, the bird of paradise blossoms stood out vividly.
The drizzle picked up, and the gutter flowed more rapidly. I found it amusing how the left side of the wall was dry because the rain had blown in at an angle. For as much as it was coming, even the water was unable to touch what science said it could not.
I found myself wishing I could go back in time, or at least to another place where time seemed to stand still and life paused. The silence I felt was complete, even amongst the noise of the world around me awakening to the sky's calling.
I leaned my body against the wooden post supporting the awning. The coolness felt good next to the humidity of the air. A breath of wind, and the smell of new earth met my nose. The dog, too, was deep in investigation of something she had found. For her, rain was a new adventure, something more to discover.
The impossibility of existence hit me in a wave. First came the feeling of awe as I gazed at the hazy mountains in the distance. Even they were helpless against the mist. Then, the realization that my life is only a minor character in other's stories. They do not care about the intricate workings of me because they are not me, and they are not God. With that idea sparked another, that I am impossibly insignificant. I will walk this earth once but no matter what I do, the world will continue on without stopping. It will absorb my absence when the time comes, and at that time I will not be missed. I am not an essential part of the planet because man is so helplessly small and man is not God. Who I am and what I do is nothing when lined up next to eternity.
The rain continued to pound against my consciousness, beating into me that I could do nothing to prevent it from doing so. I breathed a sigh of relief as the notion came to me.
Trying to control life is just as pointless as trying to stop the rain.
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